Premarital counseling is a form of therapy that will help couples, who are considering marriage, to discuss any topics to ensure they are on the same page before walking down the aisle. Premarital counseling can be the space where a couple can bring any questions to the table, to discuss with one another. By doing this, couples can feel confident that they are making the right decision in choosing a partner to experience life with.
Expectations and Beliefs: You and your partner may believe you have an idea of what marriage should look like, however, premarital counseling will be the place you discuss your beliefs and expectations of marriage and what it means to be a good partner. Sharing the expectations we have of one another can either make or break the entire structure of a marriage before it even has a chance to fully develop. With counseling, you and your partner can discuss these expectations openly and decide if there needs to be any changes made or compromises met.
How the Past Affects the Future: Another important topic that may be discussed in marital counseling, is the backgrounds you and your partner come from. Talking about your backgrounds and the environments you have been exposed to can help you and your partner avoid transference. Transference is the transfer of qualities and re-creation of past relationship dynamics into present relationships; while this is usually done unintentionally, it can negatively affect our relationship.
Create Strategies to Resolve Conflicts: As counseling becomes the setting to nurture your communication skills, it will also be the climate where you and your partner improve your strengths with conflict resolution. Good communication skills are not enough to maintain a healthy marriage completely, however, when coupled with plans to resolve conflict, the chance of a successful marriage increases greatly. You and your partner could have different styles of communicating, which could create a wedge if there is no discussion about your differing styles. Counseling will provide the opportunity to openly communicate and gain awareness on the way you and your partner correspond with one another.
Money Talks: Talking about money and what it means in your relationship is an important element of a healthy marriage. While money has a way of ruining marriages, discussing past and present financial experiences can help you and your partner to avoid potential future financial fights. Creating goals for your financial future or discussing your thoughts on money in your relationship can serve as a beneficial factor as you and your partner prepare for marriage.
Sex & Intimacy: Although it may be uncomfortable to discuss the intimate part of your relationship in front of a complete stranger, the discussion could lead to the increasing development of a healthy physical relationship. You and your partner may have questions or concerns surrounding the general physiological and emotional differences between you and your counselor could very well be the bridge to connect that gap of wonder. Openly discussing sex and the intimacy you share could lead to becoming that much closer to your partner, further building a trusting foundation for your marriage.
Thoughts on Children: Surprisingly enough, many couples do not discuss having children, which is a critical topic when considering any long-term romantic relationship. Counseling can be the environment you discuss parenting styles and extended relative involvement, if you decide on growing your family. It may be difficult for some to have this discussion based on uncertainty and/or fear, however, openly discussing this issue will prepare you and your partner for the future.
Premarital counseling can help prepare you for the journey ahead of you. It’s not a matter of “if” but “when” these tough topics will surface. Let us to help you and your future spouse-to-be navigate these tricky subjects and start your marriage on the right foot with transparency and understanding.